Let’s Talk Toenails.

Warning – if you’re squeamish about feet, you can ignore this post. There aren’t any gross photos or anything, but just… Sorry in advance.

Also, I can just imagine the search terms that the title of this post will create to bring people to my blog.

louis

As if the #pedicure posts on my IG don’t already bring out the weird fetishists…

But anyway! We’re runners here, right? Or mostly runners. Or walkers. Or people who wear sneakers sometimes. Just go with me, and let’s talk toenails. 

toenails

Exactly.

I’ll start by saying this: I get the creeps from other people’s feet, like our friend up there. I don’t mean any offense, really, to you people with feet. You could be the most gorgeous foot model in the world and I’d still get the willies. BUT I actually really really like my own feet. They’re the perfect foot shape, my toes are all aligned properly (no Morton’s toe here), and I always keep them immaculately groomed. Regular and consistent pedicures, buffing, daily lotion, the whole 9 yards. It’s one of my quirks, you could say.

i feel pretty

…but I’m not cocky about it like Maria here. Tone it down, lady.

However… all that changed when I started running. I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say it’s a friggin mess down there. If you’re a runner or even wear sneakers a lot, you’re probably right there with me, yeah? Everything that can possibly go wrong with a foot has probably done so if you’re a runner. Like having to be the boring one at a party the night before a long run and being able to calculate kilometers to miles in an instant, foot issues come with the “runner” title.

Well, the most obvious issue that I’ve got going on right now is a big honking black toenail, which has been threatening to jump for about 2 months now. And it’s really grossing me the hell out.

ew

Right??!

Seriously – every time I take my sneakers off after a run, I shock myself with that ever-darkening toenail. It’s mocking me even now, as I type this. My feet are propped up on a pillow in front of me, and there it is, laughing at me over the top of my laptop. Just daring me to coat it with another layer of polish, which it will blast right through with its darkness and make a mockery of the rest of my pedicure.

So what’s a girl to do?

dont care 2

bingo!

Go with it! Instead of fighting the evil scourge of the black toenail, I’ve decided to embrace it. Wear it as a badge of honor, if you will. Sure, I’m going to keep taking good care of my feet with regular pedicures, but I’ll smile when I see that funky nail. I’ll remember the first time I noticed it after that 7 mile run that took me on a new route in the rain and made me feel like a real Runner with a capital R. I might even show it off to the guy at the nail salon when I go for my next pedicure! 

And then I’ll ask him to just paint the skin where there are no nails, and pick a darker polish 😉

What do you think about toenails? Have you experienced the dreaded black toenail of doom? Go ahead, share your story – no judgement here!

4 thoughts on “Let’s Talk Toenails.

  1. So funny! Thankfully, I haven’t experienced this yet–I’m pretty good about keeping my toenails clipped short, and take good care of my feet. Maybe I’ve just been lucky, or maybe I don’t run enough miles? Who knows..

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