Have you seen this Target commercial yet? The Christmas-themed one with the little girl running around a scary-ass, toy-filled Alice in Wonderland themed hellscape with a dog wearing booties?
Yeah, I don’t enjoy it either.
Now, it’s currently November 18th. And I estimate that I’ve seen this commercial about 3,945 times in the last two weeks. Because, you know, nothing says Christmas like November 9th.
I know I say this every year – and I see it every year in the news and hear about it from my friends and coworkers too, so I’m not alone – but are they airing these commercials earlier and earlier? I swear it used to be that you didn’t break out the jingle bells until December, Christmas decorations didn’t hit the stores until Black Friday, and we held off on fa-la-la-ing until like the week or two before the 25th.
At the risk of sounding like a scrooge (too late), I hereby rebel. Nay – I RAGE against the Christmas machine! I want to enjoy the holiday at its core: family, food, love, food, sharing, food, caring, wine… that’s what Christmas is all about, man. And frankly, if I start celebrating now, I won’t have any pants that fit come December 25th. So I’m calling a yuletide boycott until Friday, November 28th.
No list-making, no ho-ho-ho-ing (okay, maybe a little ho-ing, a girl’s gotta eat), no carol-singing, nada. Who’s coming with me??