I disappeared for a while, and I apologize. My former company underwent some restructuring back in mid-January, which led to me being let go after nearly five years with them. In the interim, blogging took a backseat because I’ve been focused not just on finding a job, but on finding myself.
For the first few weeks, I was miserable and had no motivation to run because I was purely focused on finding a new job. That blah feeling made me even less motivated to run, which fed back into the misery and sapped my motivation even further, and, well… lather, rinse, repeat. So I backed off of social media because… how could I be “Jess Runs Happy” if I wasn’t running and I wasn’t happy?
But, as it tends to do, life kept on moving along and I explored interests that I forgot I had.
I spent two solid weeks turning our spare bedroom (previously known as the house dumping ground for the entire 6 years we’ve lived here) into a beautiful home office/Lady Cave, complete with a matching desk, tv stand, and storage unit that I all built with my own two hands.
I hung out with friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. I tried daytime classes at the gym. I wrote A LOT, now that I had a fancy shmancy new office to do it in. I cleaned every room from top to bottom. I donated or tossed more than a dozen huge bags of stuff. I tightened loose drawer pulls and hot glued broken things all over the house. I hung out with my mom a lot. I cleaned the oven. I worked on my Rey costume! Generally, I did everything I’ve been meaning to do for the past 5 years but didn’t have the time to do (and couldn’t bring myself to spend my precious weekends doing).
Before I knew it, I had an exciting new opportunity on the horizon, and the knowledge that all of this Me Time will soon come to an end. With this news, I expected my motivation to come screaming back onto the scene, prompting me to RUN ALL THE MILES!
Alas, no motivation.
But here’s the kicker: I’m not beating myself up about it.
In running, like in life, you get what you put into it. And not getting 100% from my running would just discourage me even more. My runs have been hit or miss – some days it feels easy and other days it’s a struggle just to get into my running tights. So instead of forcing myself to run when my body hurts and my heart just isn’t in it, I’ve done other things to keep active. And while I have to get serious in the coming weeks to ensure that I can even participate in the New Jersey Half Marathon in April, I’m not stressing.
What does that mean? In a nutshell, I’m not going to be chasing a PR in West Long Branch at the end of April like I previously planned. Life just works in mysterious ways and I’m not about to push myself to injury just because I made some proclamation on the internet. It’s not that important to me to get a PR in the half distance this soon after taking a hiatus like I have. The PR will be there when I’m ready, and I’m not ready, simple as that. Right now, my focus for the half will be to finish with a smile, and I’m 100% sure I can at least manage that.
What I WILL be doing is looking forward to a handful of other fun races this spring:
- After running both the 10K and Half with them, the folks at the Newport 10K have asked me to be a Blog Partner with them once again, and I’m super stoked to do just that on May 5th. What’s more: they’ve been generous enough to give me a free entry for one of you guys! So stay tuned to my Instagram for details on that when I kick that off.
- While I didn’t plan on running it again, my fear of race FOMO got the best of me and I signed up for the Spring Lake 5. So I’ll be hitting the beach once more at the end of May for the official summer kickoff race and will hopefully beat last year’s time there.
- For the third year in a row, I’ll be running my favorite race of the year, the NYRR/FrontRunners 5M Pride Run, in Central Park during Pride Weekend in June. This race has a special place in my heart and I look forward to returning to NYC for my first run there since the Marathon.
In addition to these races, I’m not about to give up on chasing PRs just yet. I’m aiming for a new 10K PR in the fall, and will definitely consider stretching for a sub-30 5K, too.
So while I’ve taken a short break from running, you can rest assured I haven’t given up on it completely. I never will. It’s in my blood now – on those occasions lately where it felt good, it felt VERY good, reminding me that I could never give it up entirely.
So thanks for sticking around. I look forward to having you along for the ride as I start this new chapter and chase my running goals with a new attitude in 2018 and beyond!